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Rasheeda Nae //Fashion, Beauty, Natural Hair, Lifestyle Blogger//LONDON

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•GUEST BLOGGER• ~Nana Ashanti - Choosing Your Girl Squad!



CHOOSING YOUR GIRL SQUAD - By Nana Ashanti


Hey loves, its Nana here. Today I talk about how to choose your girl squad. You are probably thinking, “Aren’t we too old for that. Where are we, high school? My answer to that is no we are not. No one is too old enough to have a circle of good, lovely and dependable people in their lives.
As women, having some girlfriends in your life is not only beneficiary for our social lives but also a source of great information and support. As we get older, naturally we go through changes and who better to gist about this with than your few good men?
So we watched,” Sex and the City”, “Girlfriends”, “Friends” and “How I met your mother”. Admit it you wanted to have friends that were as fabulous as the women of Sex and the City were. You were Carrie and all you needed were your Charlotte and Miranda because we all know one Samantha. Typically, girl squads have been known for pettiness and cat fights but if you know how to choose your life partners (because they will be), the journey of life will be a lot more enjoyable and pleasant.


First thing to do when making friends for life is to find commonality. This could be a shared love, background or passion. Trust me, this is one way to be rid of senseless arguments. In Sex and the City, all the women loved New York City. Their lives were there, their past was rooted there and no matter how far they traveled, they always ended up in New York.
Finding a commonality is key because a common denominator reveals a common goal and passion. My 3 friends are all immigrants. I have friends from the country but in my girl squad and my village, all my girlfriends are immigrants from African, Asian and Caribbean countries. We share a sense of family in a way so most our conversations are skewed in that direction. Having commonality with your girlfriends gives an unending list of conversation to have, information to share and support each other through issues the entire group is familiar with.
Another important factor is age. I am at an age where I have acquaintances that are barely legal to friends in their 40s. This is a very good balance because you get to know what is in, new and cool to getting good personal experience advice from everyone. When picking your girl squad, you will want people who are closer in age to you or in the same age bracket. The reason being, naturally you are all experiencing the same things at the same time. In my case, I’m in my early 20s. My friends are also in the 20s bracket. All of us are figuring out dating, careers, higher education and life in general. None of us have families of our own so we get the tie to plan outings and future travel as and when we please. Picking a good age bracket ensures a shared experience and sympathy for each other because most likely you’re going through the same thing.
Lastly, a very important factor to consider: Vision for the future. It’s ok to be selfish and prefer to hang around people that share your vision. If you want to go higher, keep people who want you to go higher too. Choose your girl squad based on people who empower you, not yes men. But people who offer criticisms, encouragement and support. There are some acquaintances that are fun and love being around you.  You love them and wish you guys met more often. However, deep down you know this person is not a good influence in your life. Drama is entertaining and all but in choosing your life partners, be sure to keep these people at arm’s length. The goal in choosing our girl squad is to be yoked to women who are positive, willing, aware, helpful, available and supportive.
The reason why it’s imperative to keep a few good friends is that no man is an island. We are all on a weird journey in this thing called life. Why not hold hands with a few good men who want to experience this with you? Hey, we all need someone to slap us back to reality every now and then.
Next time, we’ll talk about how to make friends.


***my personal blog is http://mylovelettertoafrica.com
***find me on social media @nana_ashanti everywhere***

D'Journae
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