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Rasheeda Nae //Fashion, Beauty, Natural Hair, Lifestyle Blogger//LONDON

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•Blogger Collab• ~ A Quarter Life Crisis!


5 women. 
5 naturalistas. 
5 bloggers. 
5 shades of fleeking melanin. 
3 continents. 
1 topic: QUARTER LIFE CRISIS.





Hey Dolls!

Today's post is going to be a collaboration with me and five other bloggers looking at the crisis' we face as we reach our mid-twenties in an African home. 
We wanted to share out experiences with you all so here goes!


My experience...

For the majority of your lives up to this point African parents have enforced the idea that 
1. "boys are nonsense"
2. "If you so much as to look at them you will get pregnant" 
3. You should "Carry your books and go to school" - that is what they sent you there for.

Then, you graduate university, hit your mid-twenties and all of a sudden your mum, dad, aunties and uncles all want to see you with boys.  "Oh, my dear, where is your h'ozband". "When I was your age I was already married with 2 kids". "Time is ticking ooo, don't be playing around, better bring a boy home fast fast"

And you're thinking, wait.. Is this really my mother? The one who threatened to send me back to Africa because she caught me holding hands with a boy when I was 14? Now all of a sudden I should be marrying!

It's when you touch 28 that it starts to worsen. Random aunties start approaching you "come to my church! You will find husband tomorrow". "Lemme give the pastor your number, he's a true man of God". 

And of course, let's not forget the comparisons. "See your friend Esther! She's already married 3 years ago instead of you to be man hunting you are sitting here watching Real Housewives of Atlanta... when will you become a wife too!" 

You try to explain that it will all happen in due time. God has a plan and you are not in any mad rush. But nooooo, it's all your fault. "It's you!..you are to picky, every man you see, I don't want this I don't want that..will you not take what you are given and go and sit down...have you seen anyone that is perfect in this world?..even your father sef, I had to mould him to what I want".

MUM, DAD, AUNTY PLEASE!!! Na by force? Sometimes just let me be, maybe I'm not ready yet? After all is it you that's getting married or is it me? Lol sometimes I just wonder, all these nosey aunties that will be snooping around asking questions everywhere, will you not go and enjoy YOUR own married life? If it's so great maybe you'll have less time to worry about mine? *no shade* ~ we love our African parents really! 


Here's what the other ladies had to say...


Nana Ashanti - mylovelettertoafrica.com

“Lately my mum has been dropping hints at marriage. I could be shopping or cooking and the question is “So are you shopping by yourself? Or are you cooking for one?” ” When are you going to have a boyfriend?” “Do you plan to live in your big house by yourself?” Aaah, Asant!!!
Apparently, everything I have done in life will not mean much to her till I get married. But do I blame her? No. She is from an era, where society has made it clear that marriage is the only way to be validated. My advice to all readers is this, “DO YOU, BOO”. The best time is your time!


"...But mom never complained. She allowed me explore my childhood. And my childhood turned out to be just great.  
A girl's best friend is makeup so Every girl has had to use makeup at some point in their lives. Even though it is expensive, we still buy. At least it is able to hide our physical imperfections. " 



Isn’t it funny that people think that when they hit 30 their life will automatically be perfect and set. For me personally I spent all of my 20’s working 2 jobs, running small businesses, chasing money, investing in property, driving nice cars, having fun holidays and raving yet I never really thought how that would impact me when I hit 30. I always wanted to retire before I was 30, when I set my mind to something nothing can convince me to stop or do something else. So ‘retiring’ from my 9-5 career before 30 is exactly what I did! 
I have been doing my own thing since 2012, however it has not been easy at all. It is only recently since living in Ghana that I have had to stop, collaborate and listen to my inner self, which has been telling me not to focus so much on tangible possessions.


“I know for some African girls 25 years old and up, marriage pressure is a big deal. However, that’s never been the case for me. My mom has never pressured me about marriage. I know she prays about me finding someone (along with other prayers she does over my life). However, she’s never asked me about marriage. I think she’s only asked me once if I was dating anyone. At one point, it seemed that my brother was more concerned about me dating and finding someone. He was more concerned than my own mother! I am grateful that my mom is not pressuring me about marriage. As a black woman, life already has enough stresses. The only thing my mom pressures me about is getting a master’s degree. That is important to her for my own financial independence and stability. I’d take rather take that pressure over the marriage pressure.”

So can you guys relate to us? Have you had experiences like this too? Share yours in the comments section below. We would love to read them!
xox



  









D'Journae
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6 comments:

  1. This is so amazing!! I thought I was the only one who faces the exact same struggle being born and raised in Kenya which is in Africa.I feel a sense of relief knowing that it is an African thing. Thanks for sharing your stories, am really inspired.
    www.fashionstylemogul.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahaha! Yes it defo happens all over Africa. You're not the only one don't worry! Thank you for reading hun XOX

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  2. It was really entertaining reading this post and I cannot tell you how much I can relate to this mid quarter life crisis! Right now the pressure to find a good husband for myself has been looming in my life like an annoying housefly!
    Love,
    Nilu Yuleena Thapa
    BIG hair LOUD mouth

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha I like the way you described it there! Thanks for reading hun, glad you could relate. XOX

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  3. Hey Rasheeda, I've been exploring your blog for the past few days and I love it! So much inspiration!!! And this post, love the concept, and enjoyed reading the vvarious views. So hilarious, and true!
    xo
    Cara
    www.xocara.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Cara! I'm really glad you like it hun. XOXO

      Delete

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